Ornithological flocking

A few years ago I was lucky enough to go on holiday to The Gambia. Apart from it being one of the most beautiful countries in West Africa, it also had the added advantage of further feeding my football obsession, as just about everyone that I met wanted to talk about football in general and English football in particular. It led to some of the most surreal evenings watching football, which I've mentioned before.

However, one of the other things that The Gambia is famous for is its plethora of bird life. From exotic Blue-bellied Rollers to the exotically named Senegal thick-knee (it does exist - and I'll let you insert your own El-Haj Doiuf joke) they all fly around the lush countryside of Gambia. At the hotel I stayed at, the two characters in the photo spent every day going through the bins, looking for scraps to feed off. These Vultures are huge versions of scavenging Starlings, they were also comedic as they would battle each other over a bread roll in the most ungainly scraping since Bowyer and Dyer. As I was on holiday with a couple of Man City fans, these vultures were quickly given the nicknames Dunne and Distin and became woven into the fabric of our two weeks.

It now feels like the Vultures are now circling over SJP, eyeing up whatever can be picked over for entertainment. As ever, the media is there to watch the oncoming train-wreck as they expect Newcastle to stumble to the Championship - but the fact that the next four games are being shown live on TV (as was last weeks Stoke game) seems to be an unhealthy interest. I understand the economics of this - after all Sentana are are going to sell more pay per view games to distraught Toon fans than worried Middlesbrough fans... because there a twice as many of us than the Smogmonsters. However, it does smack a bit of voyeurism. They aren't going to let Newcastle gently fade away - but then again I wouldn't want it any other way.

The Vultures are already starting to pick over the bones of the team as well. The Shearer/Martins spat seems to be a pre-cursor for Obafemi heading to pastures new during the summer. It doesn't take a genius to read between the lines, when the Assistant Manager has to come out and say that everything is really alright with Martins and that he's important to the club. Somehow I'd just bet that Dowie had his fingers crossed behind his back.

You can almost hear the sniggering as they gleefully announce that Viduka is getting ready for his 97th comeback game this season, just in time for the Spurs game - on Sunday. I'd be delighted if the Gregg's worrier scored the goals to keep Newcastle up, but there is as much chance of that happening as the two in the picture turning up in my back garden this afternoon.

Still, I'll have a houseful on Sunday, gathered round the TV, fervently hoping for a Toon win. If the unexpected did happen and Newcastle leave the capital with 3 points then maybe the Vultures will have to circle a little higher, for a week at least.

Dear Santa

Well, Santa, I'm in a bit of a quandary...

Six games unbeaten and wins in the last two, the giddy heights of 12th place in the league have been attained and I find myself looking up at possible top ten place before the start of 2009. I'm also still in a state of shock that the goal scorers today were N'Zogbia and Duff - and I almost fainted when I saw the highlights and discovered that not only did Viduka play for 50 mins, but he also created the winner. Not only that but we've beaten Spurs, and I've just seen a dejected 'Arry Rednapp interview... Which has brought me a suprising amount of Christmas cheer.

So, Mr Claus, I'm in the habit of of asking for the 3 points on Boxing Day at Wigan (see last years list ) and I'm wondering if I should ask for something different this year. By my reckoning I've been to see Newcastle V Wigan four times and I've never seen us win.. in fact I've never seen us play even remotely well at the JJB.

So rather than ask for the traditional 3 points against Wigan from Father Christmas, I'm going to ask for a cracking game, a team display and JFK's happy face on the telly afterwards. I'm taking the Favourite Nephew to this match for his Xmas pressie... (But he doesn't know yet, so don't tell him... ) I just hope at 5.00pm on Friday he thanks me for it.

Thanks Santa

Reflections on the Party Season

I used to work in banking....Christmas office parties were always produced a mixture of trepidation and anxiety. Traditionally the time for eating/drinking too much, telling your work colleagues what you really think of them (a years pent-up frustration can be a very dangerous thing) before finally getting round to abusing the photocopier creating facsimiles of body parts - all whilst wearing a slightly torn serrated paper hat. I then went to work in HE, the parties weren't that different, except we always had to go to pubs that students didn't frequent.. often a challenge.

As you may have guessed by the level of cynicism, I've never enjoyed these type of events - usually opting for the "I'll show my face and then slope off early" approach. However, this week the dreaded office party came around; and maybe its the different industry (I work for a software company) or maybe its because I'm older...But I quite enjoyed it. Much playing of Wii's and general natter with colleagues that often you don't spend enough time talking to during the usual working day.

Now, being as I work in software, a lot of my colleagues blog. Some are purely technology based and some are very general. As the conversation at the party meandered to blogging, a colleague, Nadeem, remarked that he thought it was odd that I just blogged about football. That got me thinking (keep awake at the back... I'll get round to the point shortly). When I first started this blog I had three aims, to vent my frustration, to keep a record of my views and to encourage me to hone my writing (ahem) skills. I think I've achieved this, but Nad's comment made me review my posts over the last year or so.

It's an interesting thing to do, what I didn't realise is that I seem to have wittered on over the past year on two main themes...

1. The manipulation of facts by the media in order to feed on Newcastle fans hunger for 'news'. And never letting something trivial like a fact get in the way of a good headline. See here for one of many examples
2. The disruption to the traditional business of football that has been caused by the huge amounts of money that has been poured into the game and the effect that has on the people who buy that product because they are fans and not consumers (well most of us anyway). See here and here for examples.

I guess my point is that yes, my thoughts are framed by football, but its a microcosm of many of the things that are going on in the world...

However, this bit IS about football. I'm still in shock since the result against Portsmouth last week... A group of us had watched it on the telly, and the end we were all slightly perplexed, the question was what do we usually do after an away win?? We couldn't remember. So, I really hope that we can carry on that form into the game against Spurs tomorrow. It feels like they owe us a home win... From Rednapp turning us down to them knocking a woeful shambles of a ex-Allardyce team out of the League Cup...Not least because of their odious mouth-piece, Dave Mason will no doubt be spouting his prejudices again... I hope EMO still has his mind on the for sale sign reminder to other clubs... A hat-trick and I'd almost start to like him...maybe.

Howay the Lads

(I wonder if the Newcastle players office party was spent discussing blogs? Somehow, I doubt it)

Ich Bin Ein Geordie

Its a crisp, sunny morning in the North West of England and I've spent most of it musing about one of my heroes, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, a man who managed to combine a supreme intellect with  a charismatic leadership style in order to change not only the face of the US in the 60's but also the face of the world.   

He also gave one of the most influential speeches of all time, whilst standing the shadow of the Berlin Wall he criticised the newly erected dividing line between West and East Berlin by declaring "ich bin ein Berliner" It might have taken another 30 years for the wall to come down, but the speech was a landmark in terms of the idea of freedom, specifically in terms of movement, but also in freedom of thought.   As an aside, its another of his speeches that stays with me... and is just as relevant today as it was in 1961 (Obama please take note)

"And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man."

Now - back to earth with a bump.... NUFC have just appointed a new 'leader' - Joe Kinnear. Marvellous... A man who was managed to get a small club - Wimbledon to the semi-finals of the FA cup and is largely credited with putting Nottingham Forest into the doldrums that they are in now.  If I get one more text about Vinny Jones joining as training coach I'll scream... I'm even starting to think that Ashley is creating his own version of the cast of  Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels at SJP.  But I'm not going to fall into the trap of the 'evil cockney empire'... Doh...

Anyway, back to Kinnear, NUFC.om have described him as our very own JFK... not because he bears any resemblance to the man described in the first couple of paragraphs, but because when anyone hears that he's been appointed as our manager, the reaction is "Joe F***** Kinnear???"  

The club have said that he's going to be in charge until the end of October, and he's already alluding to Keegan and Shearer being parked around the corner for when the new owners arrive. But I wonder if this is the case?  To stretch the analogy above a little further, this smacks to me of appeasement. Time will tell. 

In the meantime NUFC continue to grab the headlines of all the red-tops (and many of the others).  As Phil McNulty has commented

Newcastle is a circus, a soap opera, a black comedy, a farce - but it is never dull.

Of course, we've all known that for ages, but at least Spurs should be grateful to the club... Its providing a welcome distraction to their woeful under-performance... But then again Ashley is supposed to be a Spurs supporter... Doh - there I go again. 

Anyway, apparently there is something going on at 3.00pm today.... on a field in NE1, with a group of visitors from Lancashire. I wonder if NUFC come away from that with 3 points then the press will start to hail the NUFC JFK....  I doubt it.

BTW - I've avoided the grassy knoll/dugout comparison, I'll wait until he leaves for that one. 

What the El?

Just finished watching Newcastle getting thrashed 2-1 by Spurs on the telly. A few words spring to mind; gutless, clueless, passionless, hopeless, spineless, leaderless, and ultimately meaningless. Here endeth the match report as Newcastle stumble out out the Carling Cup, like adolescent boys who have sipped their first bottle of cider and are pretending that they don't feel sick. All bluff, bluster and bravado that has ended in tears.

The latest round on the made up paper rumour mill is that a Nigerian consortium is preparing to buy out Ashely ( I can see the "Abuja* Mafia Out" banners around SJP in the near future). Still, if it is true then perhaps Oba Martins might hang around for longer than when the snowdrops start to come up in my back garden.

The other rumour is that Terry Venables is going to add Newcastle United to the following list
Crystal Palace, QPR, Barcelona, Spurs, England, Australia, Portsmouth, Middlesbrough and Leeds. The radio is reporting he will be a temporary manager for about six weeks... Great, should just about be relegated by then.


*Apparently Abuja is the capital of Nigeria and not Lagos... See, tis an educational blog as well...

Can we play you every week?

Spurs 1 Toon 4

Oh, such giddiness - two wins in a row, a win in London, four different goal scorers, and back above the mackems in the league table.

I've had to put up with Five Live Sports Extra coverage (to be fair, I can see why they've selected the Merseyside derby as their main game). The coverage was typically patronising - full of "well, we knew that Keegan would get it right in the end", "all fears of relegation are now banished", "the team is starting to have belief" etc, etc... But all this pales into nothingness compaired to the match preview in The Observer this morning, from Dave Mason :-

Don't we have sweet days at the Lane now? And after Keegan's remarks about Southerners*, it would be even sweeter to wipe the floor with the Geordie nation today. Given the relative trophy count sounds more like subordi-nation to me. But we mustn't be so charitable to our beer-bellied friends - the six points we gave them last season kept them up and we've already donated three this time.

Mr Mason, to coin a ancient Norwegian phrase, "your boys took a hell of a beating". Thanks for the six points again this season. And really, does the a league cup win qualify you to be quite so smug?(I'm more than aware that Newcastle haven't won anything on living memory, but the league cup isn't really that great is it - even Middlesbrough have won that.) What happened to all the talk about Spurs finishing up in the top 4? So, thanks for the charitable six points this season... And its not that improbable that we will finish above the Man City of the South...

Anyway - roll on Match of the Day tonight... According to the radio, EMO was outstanding - I'll reserve judgment until I've seen it with my own eyes. Happy days. And long may they continue.

*Keegan's comments about Southerners - "people up here look forward to their football as much as people down south look forward to the theatre." Which, to be honest I took as slightly more insulting to Northerners, and surely not the worst insult in the world... Maybe, Dave Mason also doubles up as a theatre critic??

Backlash

Hey, its been a (fairly) quiet week on the Toon front... well, as far as the media is concerned anyway. Just a bit of sniping that the Keegan bubble has burst - well, he didn't manage to win his first game 8-0 therefore he must be a failure and that's about it... Phew, situation almost back to normal.... And then one of those things happens that you just know is going to have ramifications for Newcastle United.

This momentous event? Spurs beating Arsenal in the League Cup (how old school am I?) semi final. Not only is this the first time that Spurs have beaten their local rivals for the first time since the invention of the floodlight, but they thrashed them 5-1. To compound this Emmanuel Adebayor and Nicklas Bendtner decided to do a Bowyer/Dyer and start scrapping with each other (interesting how they haven't had bans or were sent off - consistency huh?).

So, why is this going to impact us? Well, we've got two games against Arsenal in the space of a week, the FA Cup 4th round and the League... and I just know that we are going to be the Gunners whipping boys in revenge for this aberration of the natural order of things. I fear for what will happen to us, but I wouldn't be surprised if the goals against column is in double figures... Gulp.

The other thing that has alarmed me is the rumors that we are interested in buying Woodgate - again. Whilst I've always said that he was one of the best defenders that I've ever seen in a black and white shirt... he spent more time in the sick bay that little Micheal Owen (he plays for England you know..) I hope we've got plenty of spare beds and nurses to cope with him.. Also, it really is taking the bringing back old faces thing too far... It will be Killer back next....