Ornithological flocking

A few years ago I was lucky enough to go on holiday to The Gambia. Apart from it being one of the most beautiful countries in West Africa, it also had the added advantage of further feeding my football obsession, as just about everyone that I met wanted to talk about football in general and English football in particular. It led to some of the most surreal evenings watching football, which I've mentioned before.

However, one of the other things that The Gambia is famous for is its plethora of bird life. From exotic Blue-bellied Rollers to the exotically named Senegal thick-knee (it does exist - and I'll let you insert your own El-Haj Doiuf joke) they all fly around the lush countryside of Gambia. At the hotel I stayed at, the two characters in the photo spent every day going through the bins, looking for scraps to feed off. These Vultures are huge versions of scavenging Starlings, they were also comedic as they would battle each other over a bread roll in the most ungainly scraping since Bowyer and Dyer. As I was on holiday with a couple of Man City fans, these vultures were quickly given the nicknames Dunne and Distin and became woven into the fabric of our two weeks.

It now feels like the Vultures are now circling over SJP, eyeing up whatever can be picked over for entertainment. As ever, the media is there to watch the oncoming train-wreck as they expect Newcastle to stumble to the Championship - but the fact that the next four games are being shown live on TV (as was last weeks Stoke game) seems to be an unhealthy interest. I understand the economics of this - after all Sentana are are going to sell more pay per view games to distraught Toon fans than worried Middlesbrough fans... because there a twice as many of us than the Smogmonsters. However, it does smack a bit of voyeurism. They aren't going to let Newcastle gently fade away - but then again I wouldn't want it any other way.

The Vultures are already starting to pick over the bones of the team as well. The Shearer/Martins spat seems to be a pre-cursor for Obafemi heading to pastures new during the summer. It doesn't take a genius to read between the lines, when the Assistant Manager has to come out and say that everything is really alright with Martins and that he's important to the club. Somehow I'd just bet that Dowie had his fingers crossed behind his back.

You can almost hear the sniggering as they gleefully announce that Viduka is getting ready for his 97th comeback game this season, just in time for the Spurs game - on Sunday. I'd be delighted if the Gregg's worrier scored the goals to keep Newcastle up, but there is as much chance of that happening as the two in the picture turning up in my back garden this afternoon.

Still, I'll have a houseful on Sunday, gathered round the TV, fervently hoping for a Toon win. If the unexpected did happen and Newcastle leave the capital with 3 points then maybe the Vultures will have to circle a little higher, for a week at least.

Floodlit Fun

I like Mondays...

For the past two Mondays Newcastle have been on the telly, the satellite stations have decreed that Newcastle should form part of their early evening 'entertainment' - and wonder of wonders the Toon have managed to put together back to back wins. As it stands at the moment we are luxuriating in 14th position in the league and the Mackems are in their rightful place... below us.

I've always loved evening games. Its the feeling generated by rushing away from work with a sense of excitement, walking to a ground and seeing it illuminated in the distance, wrapped up against the elements and knowing that this evening will be filled by football. Two particular evening games stick in my memory, one was Toon v Juventus in 2002. It was, I think, the first Champions League game that I'd been too, a tremendous game, with the most unlikely goalscorer - Andy Griffin. The other was even longer ago - Toon v Spurs in the FA Cup reply in Dec 1999. Memorable for the 6-1 scoreline, but also a wonderful goal by a talented young player called Dyer (I wonder whatever happened to him?) and getting numerous hugs from complete strangers filled with pre-Christmas cheer as we left the ground. Special because it was floodlit - special because the entertainment was spectacular.

As for the Villa game on Monday, well, lets say that times have changed, along with my expectations. I fully expected a loss as Villa are challenging the "big four" ( Sky) but what I hadn't factored in was how poor Villa were. Then again Newcastle/Villa games often are like this for some reason. So, it wasn't spectacular, but the three points gained (thanks entirely to Martins and Gutierrez) made the floodlit Monday night special.

That said, Joey Barton is one quarter footballer, three quarters complete idiot. Appropriately for a match near bonfire night, he allowed for his fuse to be lit, thrashed around like a demented catherine wheel and then came close to exploding over a nothing incident with Abonglahor. I hope JFK has the sense to give Barton a rocket (OK, I'm going to stop now... I sound like a cheesy tabloid journalist, an analogy isn't worth doing unless you push it far to far...). Barton's going to self-destruct again...soon. Please will someone stop him??

Tomorrow, Fulham away... on the telly...fingers crossed...again

Unbeaten and unbowed

West Ham 2 Toon 2

The unbeaten run continues. Yesterday was just the type of game three months ago that Newcastle would have given up on and lost by at least three and maybe four goals. Allardyce never seemed to have a plan B, so if we lost an early goal that was it... Beaten. Keegan has got a level of belief into the team, which means that if an early goal is conceded then its a case of rolling up metaphorical sleeves and getting back into the game.

Didn't see the game live - at thanks to MOTD they only showed a fleeting glimpse of the game - but pleased to see Oba back scoring as well as terrorising defences with his pace. The second goal should have been his as well. Beye just seems to get better and better with each game. His signing has been on of the highlights of the season.

Disappointment of the weekend was the mackems beating the Smoggies.. That now makes them safe from relegation for this season at least. Still, I suppose that will at least let us put right the wrong of this season and claim a full six points from them next year.

Next week the run may well come to a juddering halt - Chelsea at home. I've managed to get tickets (my first trip to SJP in two years) and I'm taking a very excitable nephew to his first ever Toon game live... Just hope its a good 'un.

No substitute

Birmingham City 1 Toon 1

'Suppose it could have been worse. A point at St Andrews, it all felt a bit like a draw in a cup game. Sort of vaguely satisfying, but not quite enough somehow.

The positives of last night were,

• starting with 3 up front with Oba amongst them - for me the main difference between tonights game and the abject surrender at Liverpool
  
• a very good performance from Butt, who seemed show a passion for the game that so many of his colleagues lacked
• EMO scored a goal (which maybe will be priceless at the end of the season)
• We came back from a goal down for the first time since the ball had laces in it
• We could have won it and the overall performance was so much better than against Liverpool
  

The negatives of last night were

• Joey Bloody Barton - As BAWARAL said " Just do everyone a favour, Joey, and plead guilty" He was awful all night.
• Geremi's corners were, by and large, complete rubbish
  
• Faye - for a man with physique of a heavyweight boxer in his prime, he was humiliated by the lightweight that was James McFadden for their goal - and left on the turf on his arse
• No wingers, until Charlie Zog came on
• Mark Viduka looked knackered after 15mins, but played the full 90.

However, the most baffling thing of the night was the decision to substitute Obafemi Martins with about 20 mins to go. He made Owen's goal, he was a threat throughout the whole of the 2nd half, and most of all his pace troubled the Birmingham defence - which is more than Owen or Viduka did. I was one of the ones that booed when I saw the No 9 go up on the subs board. I've expressed my thoughts on this before, but Keegan cannot make a sensible substitution to save his life - he didn't do it the first time here, nor for England, nor for City... Last night it was just baffling. Why put on Charlie Zog when Martin's was doing so well... I was baffled and so were those around me.

Still, a point has moved us up a place in the table, it could have been worse... It makes Saturday's game another really important one and we must get 3 points from Fulham.

Funniest things from last night :-

• the slowest pitch invasion in the world, and all the guy succeeded in doing was getting 3000 Geordies to laugh and wave at him
• Liam Ridgewell catching the ball because he thought the offside flag had been raised.. The look on his face as the free kick was given was priceless
  
• the unmarked police car that swept into the away end with three coppers in uniform looking all important. One of them got out, put on his helmet and went to the boot of the car... Opened it and got out an empty tea urn.., Two thoughts, (a) was this a sanctioned use of tax-payers money? (b) why did he feel the need to put is helmet on, afraid that the Northern ruffians might try to beat him up for us urn???

So, until Saturday comes... As a fanzine once named itself.

Game No 13....

Glutton for punishment or what... Got a ticket for St Andrews on Monday night now. One the advantages of working near Birmingham is that it means I don't have a five hour journey home after a Monday night game... in fact it might be the only advantage.

I'm sure it will be grim, again. Birmingham are two places below us and two point behind us... So apparently that makes this a "six pointer"... I was relieved that they got nothing from Portsmouth yesterday, but at least they are scoring goals, which is more than our attack is doing at the moment. Please Kevin, give Oba a start... he's so much more convincing than either Owen or Smith (who last scored when players were paid in pounds, shillings and pence). However, we will be without Milner as he's injured after the Anfield humiliation, but ring the bells... Joey Barton is available for selection. Deep joy.

I also found myself watching Bolton on the TV tonight, and willing them onto win. This is odd because Bolton still pay terrible football and irrationally I want to blame Bolton Wanderers for employing Allardyce and leading him to the door at St James' Park. Anyway, I wanted them to win tonight, not out of a desire to see a Premiership club progress in the Uefa cup, but in the hope that a cup run would distract them sufficiently from their position in the league. Needless to say they lost. Bloody typical.

Anyway, Monday will be game 13 since our last win. Unlucky number? I still say that we make our own luck. If Newcastle don't win and other result go against us then we will be replacing Bolton in that 3rd from bottom. Time for the battle cry and unwavering support for the full 90 mins from the fans - I'd even cheer if Barton scored. Fickle or what?

Genius - Not

I see that EMO* has been doing his captains PR stint prior to Saturdays game. Stating that we are short on confidence, but he's sure that Newcastle will get themselves out of trouble. He then has gone on to say that the game on Saturday is winnable, but that the one against Liverpool isn't. OK, I'm paraphrasing slightly, this is what he's reported as saying

This game against Blackburn on Saturday is one you look at and think Newcastle at home should be getting something out of it.

"If we can do that we can get a bit of confidence. We then play Liverpool and after that we have got a few games that are winnable.

Now, it could be argued that he's being realistic, but I'm not sure that I want a realistic captain. I want someone who will cajole, rabble-rouse and inspire the best in any team he plays for. I want someone who believes that his team can win every game and will drive his team forward to do that.

I can't see Owen doing this, he has that wonderful strikers selfishness that means that all that is important to him is scoring goals. He's not a team player, and its not his job to be that. I can't see him inspiring Charlie Zog to put in a better cross or for Steven Carr to become a defender again. And as for the comment above, I still think his allegiance lies with his previous employers rather than his current ones... And given half a chance he'll be off in the summer. Not what is needed of a captain in a relegation scrap is it?

The other news this week is that Oba Martins is going to sign a new contract. Good. I just hope he celebrates with a hat-rick against Blackburn tomorrow.... Off now for my medication...

*EMO - England's Michael Owen

Dear Santa

What I'd like for Christmas is.....

1. 3 points at Wigan on Boxing Day (I'm going)
2. A new left back to be found under the tree at SJP
3. A display of attacking, attractive football at Wigan (have I mentioned that I'm going?)
4. Michael Owen to come back to full fitness and to score 15 goals this season
5. Failing that.... for him to be lured away to a team like Portsmouth or Spurs and they can pay his extortionate wages and put up with him playing for England as his first priority.
6. For Oba to play as a centre forward
7. For Charlie Zog to play left wing NOT as a left back
8. For Mike Ashley to keep that smile on his face (he still looks like a kid in a sweet shop, wearing his favorite Toon top - gawd bless him).
9. For Titus and Sibbi to have terrible games on Wednesday (I'm going, you know)
10. Alan Smith to get his first Toon goal - sooner rather than later (Wigan, Wednesday?)


In fact if I get one of these I'll be suprised... But then again, I keep hearing that Santa is a Geordie!!

Have a Toontastic Christmas!

Fast flowing football

Blackburn 3 Toon 1

Interesting day in the wilds of Lancashire - yes we got beat, again; yes we are slipping down the league table, again; and yes some of the numpties have been booing the team, again. But, to paraphrase a political party - the green shoots of a recovery where evident.

The passion and pride in playing for the shirt where evident across most of the team. The game could have just as easily finished 2-2 rather than another loss. Playing Smith and Martins up front gave us a nip and zip that had been lacking in recent weeks and restoring Milner to the team gives a sense of purpose. The defence is still a shambles at times, but the sooner that Faye gets back to fitness (went off after about 20 mins - must have been brought back too soon) and Beye, Taylor, Rozenhal, Cacapa (give him a 2nd chance?) Enrique (still not sure about him) and Carr (jury isn't so much out on him as already having him sent down) are sorted out then things will start to improve.

The highlights of the day where Martins goal and the ensuing bedlam, Stevie Harper warming up and suggesting that some of the fans had been drinking as we chanted "England's number one" at him and the blokes outside the pub chanting "dodgy perm" at a couple of septuagenarians who wandered past.

A personal highlight was the winning of a small side bet. Despite the pre-match doom and gloom I had a feeling that it would be a good game. It was (despite what the papers say) and fulfilled my prediction of the 3 Fs - Fast, flowing football. Most of all it was entertaining. Ok, we lost (see first sentence) but at least I had my half time pie paid for as a result of the change in attitude from the players - thanks lads.

Wednesday, Arsenal - hummm we'll see.