Ten thousand holes

Blackburn 3 Toon 0


By god this was a grim game.

I think the most telling comment from the whole day was an overheard one.

If you can picture the scene... It's now dark, the wind is driving rain into our faces so hard that it stings, we are trudging up a hill with an incline of about 1 in 4 (in old money). We've just seen an abject display by a group of individuals in black and white shirts (note: not a team); a journeyman striker (pictured on the front of the programme) has put two goals past us and the other was from a dodgy penalty. We know we are plummeting down the table and we will be in serious trouble soon. One of our senior players (well, in age anyway) has been sent off, and then blasted the ball at the referee (he missed, of course) and then our returning 'star' and Stevie G wannabee (when not being detained at Her Majesty's pleasure) then decides to start a fight with our Spanish left-back - again they can't even muster the enthusiasm for anything more than a bit of finger wagging and a push.

So, the conversation by the two guys in the black and white shirts in front of me went something like this (I've removed the expletives for those of a gentle disposition.)

Man One - *sigh* "That was poor"
Man Two - "Aye, but the football was just a bonus part of the day. At least we've got out of the house"
Man One - "Aye, true"

I've decided that this exchange is a healthy perspective. Sanguine was an understatement. I can't take this seriously anymore (well not until the derby game anyway). Bastardising Mark Twain's quote

- Newcastle United, a good Saturday afternoon spoiled -

I've warned the Favourite Nephew that if he doesn't behave - I'll take him to some more away games.... That should keep him on the straight and narrow. So that game is behind us now. Lets just forget it ever happened.

One small prediction. If Kaka signs for Manchester City this week (I'm still cringing at the obscenity of the numbers on this transfer) his home debut is quite likely to be a midweek game against the Toon. I wonder what odds will be on Mr Barton welcoming him to the Premiership with a tackle that does him some serious damage? Written in the stars that one...

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder

I'm such a creature of habit. For instance, have you noticed how often I blog on a Saturday morning? Its becoming part of my weekend ritual (and far more pleasurable than many other mundanitites - is that a word? if not it should be - of my Saturday mornings, like doing the washing, cleaning etc.) I seem to need the framework of routine in order to get things done.

One of my 'habits' is to give up booze for the month of January. There are some sound reasons for this :-

1. The need to dry out after the excess of the festive season
2. To prove that I can
3. To save cash as a result of number 1
4. To break the habit of looking at the football scores and immediately reaching for the Merlot/Lager/Southern Comfort/Bleach (delete as appropriate according to the atrociousness of the result)

Normally this isn't too much of a problem - however I never quite make it to the end of the month, as some party or event crops up where you are expected to toast the happy couple/new offspring/divorcee (again, delete as appropriate).

The downside of this is that I always have to 'cope' with the demise of another year of Newcastle United's hopes of winning something stone cold sober. I had to suffer the game against Hull via t'inteweb Radio Newcastle - and even the partisan commentators couldn't put anything much positive on the game. There seemed to be such an air of inevitability about the game, it was only ever going to get settled by one goal - and it was unlikely that Newcastle would score it. Hull are a poor team - but they were better than Newcastle on Wednesday. Depressingly true and I can't even seek solace in the bottom of a pint pot at the moment.

Oh well, another day, another game. Blackburn this afternoon, a chance to put one over Allardyce. As ever travelling more in hope than anticipation. Just had the phone call confirming that their are tickets for me and the Favourite Nephew - looking forward to catching up with everyone. Meeting in Blackburn at 2.00pm.... in the pub. Doh!

Howay the lads

Dragons' Den

Hello, my name is Mike and I'd like £400 million pounds for....


Well, for what exactly? A team so dispirited that it rolled over and played dead against a mediocre Blackburn Rovers; a captain who sounded on MOTD last night like he's clinically depressed and the mogadon has taken over; a backroom staff that are as threadbare as the squad, a set of 50,000 fans who are now so apathetic that they have lost all passion and have stopped turning up, even though they have paid for their tickets...

Somehow Mike, I think that you are going to have trouble offloading this, especially if Peter Jones starts to question you about the figures... Seeing as it looks like you didn't understand them when you bought the company in the first place.

I'd guess these five, along with some Indians and (probably) some Nigerians would say "I'm out" and send you on your merry way.

Ich Bin Ein Geordie

Its a crisp, sunny morning in the North West of England and I've spent most of it musing about one of my heroes, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, a man who managed to combine a supreme intellect with  a charismatic leadership style in order to change not only the face of the US in the 60's but also the face of the world.   

He also gave one of the most influential speeches of all time, whilst standing the shadow of the Berlin Wall he criticised the newly erected dividing line between West and East Berlin by declaring "ich bin ein Berliner" It might have taken another 30 years for the wall to come down, but the speech was a landmark in terms of the idea of freedom, specifically in terms of movement, but also in freedom of thought.   As an aside, its another of his speeches that stays with me... and is just as relevant today as it was in 1961 (Obama please take note)

"And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man."

Now - back to earth with a bump.... NUFC have just appointed a new 'leader' - Joe Kinnear. Marvellous... A man who was managed to get a small club - Wimbledon to the semi-finals of the FA cup and is largely credited with putting Nottingham Forest into the doldrums that they are in now.  If I get one more text about Vinny Jones joining as training coach I'll scream... I'm even starting to think that Ashley is creating his own version of the cast of  Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels at SJP.  But I'm not going to fall into the trap of the 'evil cockney empire'... Doh...

Anyway, back to Kinnear, NUFC.om have described him as our very own JFK... not because he bears any resemblance to the man described in the first couple of paragraphs, but because when anyone hears that he's been appointed as our manager, the reaction is "Joe F***** Kinnear???"  

The club have said that he's going to be in charge until the end of October, and he's already alluding to Keegan and Shearer being parked around the corner for when the new owners arrive. But I wonder if this is the case?  To stretch the analogy above a little further, this smacks to me of appeasement. Time will tell. 

In the meantime NUFC continue to grab the headlines of all the red-tops (and many of the others).  As Phil McNulty has commented

Newcastle is a circus, a soap opera, a black comedy, a farce - but it is never dull.

Of course, we've all known that for ages, but at least Spurs should be grateful to the club... Its providing a welcome distraction to their woeful under-performance... But then again Ashley is supposed to be a Spurs supporter... Doh - there I go again. 

Anyway, apparently there is something going on at 3.00pm today.... on a field in NE1, with a group of visitors from Lancashire. I wonder if NUFC come away from that with 3 points then the press will start to hail the NUFC JFK....  I doubt it.

BTW - I've avoided the grassy knoll/dugout comparison, I'll wait until he leaves for that one. 

Pulling in the same direction?

Toon 0 Blackburn 1



I now find myself in the odd position of longing for the boredom of midtable obscurity. Instead I found myself listening to the radio yesterday, hoping that Reading would loose (they didn't) Fulham would loose (they did) and City would beat Wigan (they didn't). But most of all I was willing the Toon to beat Blackburn... Another forlorn hope.

From the "highlights" on Match of the Day it appears that we were unlucky... but how many teams have complained of been unlucky as they fall into the Championship? Certainly, we can't say that we are 'too good to go down' - because we aren't anywhere near good enough at the moment. A lethal combination of comedy capers defending and a midfield packed full of players who can't pass to a team mate make the perfect recipe for relegation.

Assuming that Derby and Fulham are going to take up two of the spots, that leaves one from Reading, Bolton, mackems, Wigan and us (maybe the Smoggies as well). Wigan and Birmingham are both on an upward curve, Reading had a good win at the weekend. So that leaves Toon, mackems and Bolton.... A heart stopping thought that the game against the mackems could decide if we are playing Chelsea or Crystal Palace next season has crossed my mind....

Well, the season won't just be petering out then will it?? Not the usual mid table floundering this year. Liverpool next weekend, I'm waiting to see if I've got a ticket, not sure my heart will stand another Anfield trashing.

Genius - Not

I see that EMO* has been doing his captains PR stint prior to Saturdays game. Stating that we are short on confidence, but he's sure that Newcastle will get themselves out of trouble. He then has gone on to say that the game on Saturday is winnable, but that the one against Liverpool isn't. OK, I'm paraphrasing slightly, this is what he's reported as saying

This game against Blackburn on Saturday is one you look at and think Newcastle at home should be getting something out of it.

"If we can do that we can get a bit of confidence. We then play Liverpool and after that we have got a few games that are winnable.

Now, it could be argued that he's being realistic, but I'm not sure that I want a realistic captain. I want someone who will cajole, rabble-rouse and inspire the best in any team he plays for. I want someone who believes that his team can win every game and will drive his team forward to do that.

I can't see Owen doing this, he has that wonderful strikers selfishness that means that all that is important to him is scoring goals. He's not a team player, and its not his job to be that. I can't see him inspiring Charlie Zog to put in a better cross or for Steven Carr to become a defender again. And as for the comment above, I still think his allegiance lies with his previous employers rather than his current ones... And given half a chance he'll be off in the summer. Not what is needed of a captain in a relegation scrap is it?

The other news this week is that Oba Martins is going to sign a new contract. Good. I just hope he celebrates with a hat-rick against Blackburn tomorrow.... Off now for my medication...

*EMO - England's Michael Owen

Fast flowing football

Blackburn 3 Toon 1

Interesting day in the wilds of Lancashire - yes we got beat, again; yes we are slipping down the league table, again; and yes some of the numpties have been booing the team, again. But, to paraphrase a political party - the green shoots of a recovery where evident.

The passion and pride in playing for the shirt where evident across most of the team. The game could have just as easily finished 2-2 rather than another loss. Playing Smith and Martins up front gave us a nip and zip that had been lacking in recent weeks and restoring Milner to the team gives a sense of purpose. The defence is still a shambles at times, but the sooner that Faye gets back to fitness (went off after about 20 mins - must have been brought back too soon) and Beye, Taylor, Rozenhal, Cacapa (give him a 2nd chance?) Enrique (still not sure about him) and Carr (jury isn't so much out on him as already having him sent down) are sorted out then things will start to improve.

The highlights of the day where Martins goal and the ensuing bedlam, Stevie Harper warming up and suggesting that some of the fans had been drinking as we chanted "England's number one" at him and the blokes outside the pub chanting "dodgy perm" at a couple of septuagenarians who wandered past.

A personal highlight was the winning of a small side bet. Despite the pre-match doom and gloom I had a feeling that it would be a good game. It was (despite what the papers say) and fulfilled my prediction of the 3 Fs - Fast, flowing football. Most of all it was entertaining. Ok, we lost (see first sentence) but at least I had my half time pie paid for as a result of the change in attitude from the players - thanks lads.

Wednesday, Arsenal - hummm we'll see.