Shirt Wars

As I mentioned before I went to the Hull game (I was far too traumatised after it to write a match report - perhaps best encapsulated in a four letter word... poor) in fact far the best part of the day was me and the Favourite Nephew spending time together. We saw several odd sights, not least of which was this dog, resplendent in a replica shirt. You probably can't make it out from the photo, but it appeared to be signed by several of the Hull first team.

Several random thoughts flashed through my head at this odd sight, how did the owner persuade the dog to put it on in the first place?, did the dog wee on it every time he wore it? and did the owner have to try several on the dog before getting the right size? I had visions of him stomping into the changing room in the club shop shouting "sit" with an armful of different sized shirts. The need to dress your pet up in the colours of your team, is a little excessive, even for me.

Last Sunday, I was picking my way through the Sunday paper when I stumbled on a mildly interesting article, about Sports Direct trying to prevent the restructuring of JJB Sports in order to see one of its main competitors go bust. Two sellers of replica shirts having a scrap. It was interesting as the respective companies are owned by Mike Ashley and Dave Whelan, who also own NUFC and Wigan Athletic respectively. I'd been aware of Ashley and Whelan clashing before, as apparently Ashley had reported JJB Sports and others of fixing the prices of football shirts, which led to a OFT enquiry and subsequent fines (JJB's was £8.3m - or one and a half Titus Brambles').

I'd guess that this was the final straw for Dave Whelan, who then decided to launch into attacking Ashley via numerous media outlets, including an interview with Radio 5 Live. Have a listen to it...I found it almost comical, the epitome of pique. I half expected him to finish off with a "and anyway, my Dad's bigger than his" and then flounce off in some sort of hissy fit. As ever the chaps at NUFC.com sum it up :-

It's a bit of cheap, sh*t-stirring based more on personal and business grievances than any football gripes and says more about Whelan's lack of class than Ashley's and that's saying something....

But one part of Whelan's tirade really bothers me, the assertion that Steve Bruce would never come to manage Newcastle. I know that the line was fed to him by the interviewer, but why on earth does he think that Newcastle would want Steve Bruce as a manager? The team has suffered having a plethora of managers, temporary managers, assistants, and part-time managers this season already, the last thing needed would Steve Bruce tipping up at the steps of SJP, claiming he knew how to keep the Toon in the Premiership merely because he understands the accent. I've said it before (on more than one occasion) Steve Bruce should never manage Newcastle United, his style would be as detrimental as Allardyce's was for the club.

However, the thing that does worry me, is was this Whelan trying to fob off Bruce onto Ashley? A sort of "you couldn't possibly afford him" type of statement, intending to goad Ashley into digging deep into his pockets and inflicting Bruce on the fans... Maybe its just paranoia brought on by being in the relegation zone, but I wonder...

Off now for a lie down in a dark room, with a damp towel on my forehead... waiting for the mists to lift.

Metaphorical Football

Early on a Saturday morning, I'm up and about and preparing to go to a game. Its that wonderful quietness of an unsullied day, combined with the fervent hope that Newcastle United will make my 300 mile round trip worthwhile. Calm and excitement, stillness and anticipation all combining.

As ever, I find my mind wandering and in an attempt to think happy thoughts - I cast my mind back to the 95/96 season... The season of the 'ohhhh... that was close, maybe next year' for NUFC or the Keegan 'I'd just love it' season for those non-NUFC delusionalists. In fact, its with the benefit of hindsight that 95/96 season was the high-point of the last fifty years, Newcastle United (Sky dubbed the team "The Entertainers" - imagine that being applied to the current squad!) 12 points ahead at Christmas and then managing to come second...

I recall that season so well, I'd just moved to the North-West, and living and working near so many Manure fans was a challenge to say the least. Admittedly, it was a self inflicted challenge - as I'd got my gloating in early... before their team woke up, overhauled our lead with Ferguson allowing Keegan to implode with one of his best examples of mind-games ever (Benetiz please read your history books, you ain't going to win this one). The highs and lows of that season were so intense. I recall the most amazing game that I'd ever seen at SJP, when Newcastle completely battered Manure, and thanks almost entirely to a Dane and a Frenchman, Manure won 1-0. Then we all knew that things were slipping away. That was nothing thought to the pain of a televised 2-1 defeat at Blackburn, leading with 5 mins to go, only for a Geordie lad, Graham Fenton to score two goals against us - and effectively destroy any remaining hope that Newcastle United had of winning the league.

So, now that the history lesson is over, if I fast forward to today, one of the reasons that I started thinking about 95/96 season is that the performance against Manure was a watershed for that season, the team played extraordinarily well, but ended up empty handed. Sound familar? Perhaps Newcastle didn't play extraordinarily well in 2009, but it was a huge improvement on the complete garbage that I've witnessed over the past few months. With a pessimistic head on, I wonder if this will have the same effect as 13 years ago? If Newcastle do end up loosing against Hull today, it will have a disastrous effect on our season, just in the same way that Blackburn did...

Its also interesting to see what the ultimate effect of coming second had on the team - the same league position was achieved the next season, but without any of the panache or self-belief and ultimately the squad then disassembled and migrated back to the more lucrative areas of the Premiership, for those who were good enough. The what-ifs are legion, if Cantona hadn't managed to squeeze that ball into the back of the net, or if Graham bloody Fenton had said on the morning of the game that his ankle injury wasn't good enough for him even to be on the subs bench then everything could have been so different.

The last couple of weeks have been challenging ones for me in my job, I've experienced coming second as well for something that was important, and also combined with something that I expected to at least reach the semi final of.. and didn't. I've done a load of 'what-if' thinking and concluded that its important to learn, but not to obsess on the past.

It's time for me to move on - and its time for NUFC to move on... I'll be the lunatic at the KC Stadium, screeching for more effort and commitment from EMO (who appears in the press to be charging in on his white steed to rescue the whole of the season for Newcastle) and Graham Fenton will be completely forgotten.

Howay the Lads

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder

I'm such a creature of habit. For instance, have you noticed how often I blog on a Saturday morning? Its becoming part of my weekend ritual (and far more pleasurable than many other mundanitites - is that a word? if not it should be - of my Saturday mornings, like doing the washing, cleaning etc.) I seem to need the framework of routine in order to get things done.

One of my 'habits' is to give up booze for the month of January. There are some sound reasons for this :-

1. The need to dry out after the excess of the festive season
2. To prove that I can
3. To save cash as a result of number 1
4. To break the habit of looking at the football scores and immediately reaching for the Merlot/Lager/Southern Comfort/Bleach (delete as appropriate according to the atrociousness of the result)

Normally this isn't too much of a problem - however I never quite make it to the end of the month, as some party or event crops up where you are expected to toast the happy couple/new offspring/divorcee (again, delete as appropriate).

The downside of this is that I always have to 'cope' with the demise of another year of Newcastle United's hopes of winning something stone cold sober. I had to suffer the game against Hull via t'inteweb Radio Newcastle - and even the partisan commentators couldn't put anything much positive on the game. There seemed to be such an air of inevitability about the game, it was only ever going to get settled by one goal - and it was unlikely that Newcastle would score it. Hull are a poor team - but they were better than Newcastle on Wednesday. Depressingly true and I can't even seek solace in the bottom of a pint pot at the moment.

Oh well, another day, another game. Blackburn this afternoon, a chance to put one over Allardyce. As ever travelling more in hope than anticipation. Just had the phone call confirming that their are tickets for me and the Favourite Nephew - looking forward to catching up with everyone. Meeting in Blackburn at 2.00pm.... in the pub. Doh!

Howay the lads

Protest Song

A week of chaos has ensued, from the last week of chaos - no clarity in terms of leadership, no sign of the new messiah and worst of all Newcastle United are still a laughing stock.  Its now got so bad, people have stopped taking the piss and all I get is sympathy from Manure and City fans. As the bard of Salford once said : - 

That joke isn't funny anymore 
It's too close to home 
And it's too near the bone 

Its got so far beyond a joke that people are really angry - two weeks have passed and the emotional attachment to Keegan hasn't diminshed.  Tomorrow is going to be interesting.  No doubt the media will skew and manipulate, but there will be some sort of protest before/during/after the Hull game. The media will show the window lickers who have been enticed by the prospect of gurning on TV - but underneath it all is a groundswell of option that what has been happening at the club isn't right.  I have a view that Keegan was too 'last decade' for modern, big business football, but I'll expand on that in another post, in the meantime there will be an emotional reaction at tomorrows game. 

I wonder if Mike Ashley has made a big misjudgement.  The recent PR has reminded me of Gerald Ratner, when he said his product was crap - and as a result a multi million pound buisness went down the pan.  Ashely's mistake hasn't been on that scale, but the fans do think that he hasn't treated his punters with respect - therefore the groundswell seems to be to hit him where it hurts.... in the pocket. 

Still - as Michael has said - support the club, not the man.

Howay the lads