Toon 2 mackems 0
Ohhhh - that was sooooo good. The complete contentment that I felt on Sunday after the game more than made up for the anxiety that I felt on the preceding three days. The match was killed off after the first goal - EMO sneaking around the back of that mackem lump and smacking a header into the corner... So they managed to last out for a whole 3 1/2 minutes until succumbing - then it really was over. They huffed and puffed for a bit, but never really looked like scoring.
In fact the tone for the day was set after those four minutes, and the over-riding theme was... hilarity. I know that Sunderland are made up entirely of Manure Irish-U21 rejects... but where did they get Paul McShane from? To call him a professional footballer is a gross exaggeration, to call him a footballer is stretching the truth. He was the worst player that I've seen this season (and that includes both Barton and Jose Enrique at their awfulest... )
He had the tactical awareness of a tortoise, the speed of a overweight jelly fish (on land) and the attacking prowess of a stuffed goat. He missed tackle after tackle, was caught out of position numerous times and even managed to put through his own net. I think the referee only disallowed it out of pity... You know the way that you do with small children when they've made a simple mistake - for the umpteenth time.
The second goal had a comedy moment about it as well - the wonderfully named Danny Higginbottam (wonder which team he started out at? Yup, another Manure reject) fell at EMO's feet and the ball hit his hand. Quite funny in itself. But then Little Mickey scuffs the penalty, it squeaks under Gordon (hang-on, must be a mistake here; I can't track down any mention of Manure in his CV) and still ends up in the back of the net. Queue half time whistle, and general hilarity from all watching with me.
The second half was a non-event. mackems were poor and so where we... But it didn't matter - the points where safe, relegation is now mathematically impossible and the only decent ex-manure player on the pitch was in a black & white shirt. Nicky Butt take a bow, you ran most of the game and all of the midfield.
Ahhhhhh - it was a good day.