Hometown Boy

At the moment I only have a passing acquaintance with sleep and a very intimate relationship with insomnia (not the Charlie Zog variety I hasten to add)... So to help while away the hours of darkness I often listen to the radio... Last night(actually that should be this morning) I was counting my metaphorical sheep when the radio announcer issued a breaking sports news bulletin. "Alan Shearer is the new manager of Newcastle United" My interest has briefly piqued and then I remembered the date, tutted and went back to sleep.

However, I've got up this morning and apparently its true He's got until the end of the season and is in sole charge... So the rumours about Dennis Wise being on his way must be true, although I should imagine that Kinnear's recovery isn't going as hoped as the rumours that have been circulating this week about him taking over Wise's job look to have some semblance of truth in them.

As ever, the odds are stacked in Shearer's favour. Eight games to keep the club in the Premiership and if he doesn't succeed then he can walk away blaming the mess of the last 8 months on the previous incumbents with his reputation untarnished. However, if he does turn around this Titanic of a club then the comparisons with Keegan will echo down the years. It's going to be an interesting time, and despite my reservations about what Shearer's personality will be like for the club, at least he's answered the call. As NUFC.com say

Shearer becomes our fourth manager of a mad season and while he's totally unproven in the job, has more feeling for this club in his spit than Kinnear and Hughton combined.

So the hometown boy returns... somehow I guess the remaining tickets for Saturday's game will be sold out before lunchtime.... As ever interesting times at SJP.

Shola Success

What a difference a month makes. At the Everton game when things looked really bleak - JFK made a substitution, bringing on the outcast No23, the guy who had been deemed not good enough for the Championship with Ipswich in August, Shola Ameobi. The chant went up "If Shola scores we're on the pitch" and stewards looked around nervously at the prospect of a pitch invasion. Of course, the threatened (un)civil unrest wasn't likely to happen, as we all thought that seeing as he hadn't scored for over two years it was unlikely. Since the Everton game he's set about trying to establish a place for himself in the side and was this week voted Newcastle player of the month for October. He's scored a couple of goals and generally looked more determined than any of the other strikers at the club.

He's a JFK sort of player - in the John Fashanu mold. Big, physical, determined and of limited ability. Therein lies the problem with Shola. For years we have watched one of our own (after all he's one of only two Geordie's near the first team at the moment, I know that neither he or Taylor were born in Newcastle - but they count as Geordies) willing him to succeed, only to be let down. Some of the frustrations about Shola are that for a player who is well over 6ft he appears to be unable to jump more than 6ins off the ground. He is one of the worst headers of the ball I've seen in a black and white shirt. He also has one of the poorest first touches of a top-flight player that I've ever seen - the ball just seems to cannon off him in random directions. For example:





But, he despite all these short-comings he's a player who always gives it all for the club. His ability is limited but he perseveres when so many better paid and more talented players give up - to name a few Kluivert, Luque, and Guivarc'h spring to mind from the past and you could probably add in Viduka and EMO from the present.

I've always had a soft spot for Shola - I remember his debut against Chelsea. He came on as a sub and a certain 'hard-tackling' Chelsea midfielder decided to show this lanky new comer what the Premiership was all about and sent 'our' Shola to the turf with a crunching and illegal tackle. I can still recall Shola jumping up, bristling with indignation and squaring up to the bully - without loosing any control the stare, just said "don't mess with me, I know what I'm doing".

The name of that midfielder? - our current Executive Director (Football) Dennis Wise. Dennis you should have learned from eight years ago, don't mess with what Newcastle fans know and love....That and the fact that when they squared up to each other Shola was a good foot taller than him, much to the general hilarity of the crowd.

One final thought, I may have a soft spot for Shola, but not as much as a friend of mine - who named her cat after our No 23. That said, Shola the Cat is the most aggressive, surly, vicious feline I've ever come across. I wonder if Shola the footballer is like that? I'd doubt it, but the cat can still jump higher.

Dark Days

Ho and indeed Hum....

The week of madness continued :-   

Wednesday saw stories of Ashely and Wise hawking the club around the middle-east, with no success, so he took refuge in a bar...

Saturday - saw the team "hammered" at Upton Park.  Comedy defenders matched by disinterested strikers

Sunday - Andy Carroll, one of the young 'prospects' at the club accepts a police caution for common assault on a woman in the centre of Newcastle.  

I've said it before, but you couldn't make it up....

Through my door earlier this week dropped a copy of the Newcastle United fanzine, The Mag. Usually its a publication that I devour when it arrives, a refreshing mixture of humour, sharp observation and well-written articles.  Its always had the advantage of being unofficial and therefore hasn't had to toe any party line.  I've only read half of of this edition... It's so depressing that it may as well have the phone number of the Samaritans emblazoned across the front of it.   

It's just got to get better soon - I was asked recently what gift I'd like - with only a moments hesitation I said "a proper manager for the Toon"... and three points on Saturday. Hummm, looks like a wasted wish.

Still, one of the reasons that I love football, is that there is always another game just around the corner.  Wednesday sees Toon v Spurs in the Fizzy Pop Cup.  Seeing as Dave Mason has been at it again in today's Observer - who managed to shoehorn into a 50 word preview article on the Spurs V Wigan game comments about how bad Newcastle are (he's right, but that's not the point) - I'd love it, just love it if we beat them..... Now where have I heard that before???

Oh - I couldn't resist this one... not my orginal idea, but its made me smile this week

Criteria for Newcastle United Owner

1. Must have more money than sense

2. Must be prepared to be disliked by the media

3. Must be a Geordie

4. Must be slightly bonkers

.... therefore the perfect owner for NUFC is...... the ex-Mrs McCartney, Heather Mills.. 

Its all gone to hell in a handcart

How to sum up what has happened in the past four days??? *sigh*

- Friday - Keegan and Ashley meet in London, LMA release a statement that no agreement has been reached between the two... Rumors abound that Ashely is trying to entice Keegan back
- Saturday - The much vaunted protests by the fans took place - including marches, alleged boycotts of merchandise, bed-sheets for posters and innumerable chants of "sack the board" Oh, and Newcastle United managed to loose to Hull City, convincingly and soundly beaten.
- Sunday - Mike Ashely releases a statement (which is now being criticised for being too long) which basically says "I've had enough, I'm off" as a For Sale sign goes up on Barrack Road
- Monday - The club has to release another statement, denying that they've sacked Alan Shearer from his role as Club Ambassador due to the remarks that he's made as a result of Keegan debacle. (Apparently his contract had ended at the end of last season, but hey, why let that get in the way of a made up story - that bastion of press righteousness the Daily Mail was responsible for this one*)

So, what on earth is going to happen next? A mysterious fire at SJP for the insurance money? A take over bid from an Irish Consortia with links to Wearside?.... The rate these few days have panned out then it wouldn't surprise me...

A few thoughts on the past few days

• I still don't believe the press portrayal of the extent of the protests on Saturday - sure a lot of people are angry, but the woman on MOTD who claimed her "life had been ruined" by Keegan's departure should either get out more, or stop trying to get onto the telly

• Ashely's statement read well, was very sensible and I actually agree with what he has been trying to do. There is a logic in trying to run the football club as a business, to make it viable and to establish a model whereby the talent is both sustainable and affordable. I don't believe that Fergson, Wenger nor even Keane have a say in each and every transfer that comes in through the door. I don't see how many can disagree with:-

"I want Newcastle to be able to create its own legends of the future to rival those of the past. This is a long term plan. A long term plan for the future of the club so that it can flourish.

One person alone can't manage a Premiership football club and scout the world looking for world class players and stars of the future. It needs a structure and it needs people who are dedicated to that task. It needs all members of the management team to share that vision for it to work."

• The problem is the way that he's gone about it. Dennis Wise was loathed by many in football because of the way he conducted himself in the past - Leeds. Chelsea, Wimbledon, Swindon... I ask you... never mind what he has done to taxi drivers. He was never going to be popular and there was always a suspicion that Ashely brought in Wise to be the next manager. The statement has come too late to win back hearts and minds - the battle for the hearts and minds had been lost.
• Who would want to buy the club? The talk of a fans buy-out is fanciful and misguided. It might work for Ebbsfleet United, but Newcastle United is on a bigger scale - that has been at the core of the problem. RadioFive were suggesting tonight that Freddy Sheperd may be 'persuaded' to come back... Spare us.
  
• Who will be the next manager? - and who would want to take the job? It looks to me like Chris Houghton for the foreseeable future. But it must be bad, because I found myself thinking that Steve Bruce might not be a bad option.

To cheer myself up over the weekend I dug out an old DVD of Our Friends in the North a mid 1990's TV drama which was loosely based on the corruption scandal surrounding T Dan Smith and John Pouslon (amongst other things). Apart from launching the career of several of Britain's best actors (Christopher Eccleston, Daniel Craig, Gina McGee and Mark Strong) it also portrayed Newcastle to be full of proud but parochial people. That stereotype still exists today, the flames of it are fanned by the press and parading banners with "Cockney Mafia Out" around the ground just re-enforces it. (Its also probably inaccurate seeing as I don't think Ashely was born within the sound of Bow Bells nor is of Italian extraction.)

Its time we all moved on. This has gone beyond a joke, its now painful. Stoppit....




* I've never yet manged to read a full copy of the Daily Mail - I occasionally come across a copy, start to read it, get to about page 5-7 stumble onto some xenophobic, sexist or royalist (usually Diana related) comment. This causes me to tut and leave the paper wherever I found it. Is it just me?

Shhhhh

Its been a quiet week, no press inspired doom and gloom about players leaving, managers being sacked or even Dennis Wise going to the theatre. Obviously the Champions League has proved a distraction for the denizens of Fleet Street (or Wapping , or whatever stone they live under now) and they will be far too busy salivating over the latest Ronaldo step-over or the next Lampard strop to make up stories about the Northern oiks. So, the Toon have been left well alone as it now looks unlikely that we will be bothering the Championship clubs next season. And I must admit I've rather enjoyed the peace and quiet.

Its still an important game for us today, Reading are uncomfortably close to us and getting three wins in a row seemed as likely as three Championship clubs making the semi finals of the FA Cup only a month ago...

But the season isn't over yet - six games to go and one of the most important games of the year coming up on 20th April... Three points against the mackems would be a wonderful way of capping off an awful season.

Alpha Male

I've been thinking about Dennis Wise, Kevin Keegan and the upper echelons of the Newcastle United management team and the barely hidden power struggle that seems to be going on (I don't get out much these days) It strikes me that the need for a top dog can add stability if its the right man, but if its not, it leads to conflict.

An on field example is the way that Stevie Gerrard runs the show at Liverpool, everything that the team does is set up to make the most of his talents. This is fine whilst that focal point is doing well, but if the 'main man' has an off day its vital that there is a plan B. It is easy to see that Liverpool are suffering from the lack of a plan B at the moment. A couple of years ago the same situation was at Arsenal with Tierry Henry, and its interesting since he's upped sticks for the bright lights of Catalonia that the general consensus is that the Gunners have started to play better and with more invention.

We had exactly the same for the Toon with Shearer. The problem was that when he retired the void that he left was nigh on impossible to fill. Shearer's ability as a striker was equaled by his ability as a leader, therefore it was a double blow when he left. Whilst its relatively easy to bring in another striker, its not as easy to bring in another leader. Look how many captains we've had
on the pitch since Shearer went - Geremi, Owen, Smith, Given, and these are just the ones that I can recall - there will have been others. It shows that we have no leader on the pitch at the moment. I'm sure that Barton sees himself in that roll, but HMP Walton has taken care of those aspirations for the time being.

So, the need for an alpha male on the pitch is easy to see - but what about in the boardroom? I've no reason to suggest that it should be any different, leaders are needed in any area. Also, they don't have to be male - look at Wigan and Birmingham for examples of women in leading roles (admittedly these are the exceptions). So what is the position at the current Newcastle United Management team - who is the leader? I suspect that there are some huge ego's Wise, Keegan, Mort and Jimenez. But at least one thing is for sure, the man with the cash - Mike Ashley is the current alpha male in the boardroom. So despite even more press sniping that's the leadership chain. Obviously Alan Shearer is aware of what is going on - as quoted today in the papers :-

"Right now I think the last thing they would need is another dominant personality, another name.

“It needs one personality driving things forward at the club and that is Kevin Keegan. It needs to be his way and if it is, I think he can turn things round. Myself and Kevin were just too similar personalities, we are both opinionated.

I just hope that my chosen Toon leader has a storming game against the Smoggies tomorrow... Steven Taylor - future England captain...Hopefully.

A Wise man?

Shudder....

Any change to a senior management team is usually either as a result of an internal promotion or to bring in someone with experience from the outside. The perceived wisdom of most businesses is that a strong management team is needed in order to steer the direction and to set the strategy. If this is the case, then where on earth does Denis Wise fit into this model at Newcastle United? Supposedly Executive Director (football) in charge of youth development and transfers... I wouldn't trust him with the drinks kitty on a girls night out, never mind the Toon's transfer kitty (I'm resisting the obvious comment about him organising the taxi's home..)

My only thought is that this must be part of Ashley & Mort's succession planning for if/when Keegan leaves... Other than that what are they doing paying him a reported £1.5m a year?

Anyway, one consoling thought - at least we won't have to see Adebayor again this season... A wonderful player, but at least he'll be doing damage to other teams rather than us. They didn't get the double figures that I thought that they might against us over the two games... but its been yet another footballing lesson for the Toon players. I wonder if Ashley will get his cash card out now - Giles Barnes anyone?

Never mind Kev - its the Smoggies at the weekend - they might play in the same colours as Arsenal, but that's where the similarities end