Could have been worse

Toon 0 Chelsea 2

Interesting day yesterday. It was my first visit to the cathedral that is SJP for at least 2 years (I'm in exile at the moment, where people talk oddly and have barm cakes rather than stotties) and we were playing a team in 2nd place in the league with every chance of still winning the championship. The sort of game that you travel to more in hope than anticipation. I was also taking my 14 year old nephew for his first visit, trying to make sure that he escapes the clutches of the evil red manure machine.

The ground was as impressive as ever, and certainly noisier than the last time I went. Playful goading of the Chelsea fans was mildly entertaining.... apparently they are going to somewhere in Eastern Europe shortly... for some cup.... They hadn't sold out the away section, which is odd seeing as the game was advertised as a sell out.

The first half was close and EMO should have scored with one that looped over the bar and John Terry cleared one of the line. Most of the creativity seemed to come from Martins (again) What was entertaining was the complete inability of the Chelsea strikers to get a shot even remotely on target. I made the mistake of telling the bloke next to me that there was no way Chelsea would be that poor in the second half (actually, I must learn to stop half time predictions, they always end in disaster) I was right. Ballack and Malouda scored goals of indifferent quality as Chelsea completed a standard win for them.

For us, I thought that Taylor and Faye both had good games, and Geremi and Smith were poor. And, please will someone teach Jose Enrique to pass the ball to a team-mate? As for Chelsea - Drogba was a characture of a world-class striker... Stroppy, petulant and fragile. He was rightly booed for being all of the above as well as generally rubbish.

But my real bile was saved for John bloody Terry (I should declare previous here; I've disliked him ever since I saw a documentary on footballers when he admitted to not knowing how to cut his own toe-nails as he has always had someone to do it for him). He is the emblem of everything that is wrong with football - arrogant, spoilt and bullying. He screamed at the referee (who was intimidated, so I guess it was effective) and both our players as well as his own. Odious and hideous footballer... I'd guess he craves respect, but seems to me to be all bluster and no thought. He's a decent player, but not as good as he thinks he is.... Rant over...

As for my nephew? I think he enjoyed the day, I looked round at one stage and he was caught up in abusing the ref for a decision that had gone against us... I have a sneaking suspicion he's hooked... My work here is done.

Whingers

Saw most of the Champions League semi-finals this week - I so wanted Barca to stuff Manure, but that never really looked likely and there was an air of inevitability about them making it to the final. Also, Paul Scholes goal was fantastic, he's always been the Manure player I've admired the most. As for the other one, Liverpool were awful (again) and winding up Drogba wasn't the smartest move that Benitez has ever made.

Needless to say the press have gone overboard about the first ever all English final of the Champions League - ignoring the fact that 2/3rds of the players won't be English - but, hey why let the facts get in the way of a bit of jingoism eh? As someone on RadioFiveLive the final will really show the South/South divide in English football.

The thing that has really got my goat this week has been the fans moaning about having to travel to Moscow for the final. Firstly, if Newcastle ever got to a Champions League final (stop laughing at the back! ) I'd chew off my own arm for a ticket and traveling to the nether regions of Eastern Europe wouldn't put me off. The arrogance of those Southerners suggesting that the final should be moved to Wembley beggars belief. Imagine if Milan and Juventus had insisted that the 2003 final be moved from Old Trafford?? The papers would have probably demanded that Italy be thrown out of Europe and the cup awarded to Manure....

On Monday, I'll be in the hallowed ground that is the cathedral of St James' Park for the first time in a couple of years. In the spirit of blind optimism I decided that Chelsea winning on Wednesday was good news for us - Chelsea are bound to have one eye on Moscow and therefore not want to over-exert themselves (gleefully ignoring that they are still quite likely to want to win the League). So, our usual end of season game against the billionaires playthings is bound to be a win for the gallant Northerners.... ahem....

Of course a win for the Toon on Monday will, in all likelihood give the title to Manure.... Damn....