Could have been worse

Toon 0 Chelsea 2

Interesting day yesterday. It was my first visit to the cathedral that is SJP for at least 2 years (I'm in exile at the moment, where people talk oddly and have barm cakes rather than stotties) and we were playing a team in 2nd place in the league with every chance of still winning the championship. The sort of game that you travel to more in hope than anticipation. I was also taking my 14 year old nephew for his first visit, trying to make sure that he escapes the clutches of the evil red manure machine.

The ground was as impressive as ever, and certainly noisier than the last time I went. Playful goading of the Chelsea fans was mildly entertaining.... apparently they are going to somewhere in Eastern Europe shortly... for some cup.... They hadn't sold out the away section, which is odd seeing as the game was advertised as a sell out.

The first half was close and EMO should have scored with one that looped over the bar and John Terry cleared one of the line. Most of the creativity seemed to come from Martins (again) What was entertaining was the complete inability of the Chelsea strikers to get a shot even remotely on target. I made the mistake of telling the bloke next to me that there was no way Chelsea would be that poor in the second half (actually, I must learn to stop half time predictions, they always end in disaster) I was right. Ballack and Malouda scored goals of indifferent quality as Chelsea completed a standard win for them.

For us, I thought that Taylor and Faye both had good games, and Geremi and Smith were poor. And, please will someone teach Jose Enrique to pass the ball to a team-mate? As for Chelsea - Drogba was a characture of a world-class striker... Stroppy, petulant and fragile. He was rightly booed for being all of the above as well as generally rubbish.

But my real bile was saved for John bloody Terry (I should declare previous here; I've disliked him ever since I saw a documentary on footballers when he admitted to not knowing how to cut his own toe-nails as he has always had someone to do it for him). He is the emblem of everything that is wrong with football - arrogant, spoilt and bullying. He screamed at the referee (who was intimidated, so I guess it was effective) and both our players as well as his own. Odious and hideous footballer... I'd guess he craves respect, but seems to me to be all bluster and no thought. He's a decent player, but not as good as he thinks he is.... Rant over...

As for my nephew? I think he enjoyed the day, I looked round at one stage and he was caught up in abusing the ref for a decision that had gone against us... I have a sneaking suspicion he's hooked... My work here is done.

Whingers

Saw most of the Champions League semi-finals this week - I so wanted Barca to stuff Manure, but that never really looked likely and there was an air of inevitability about them making it to the final. Also, Paul Scholes goal was fantastic, he's always been the Manure player I've admired the most. As for the other one, Liverpool were awful (again) and winding up Drogba wasn't the smartest move that Benitez has ever made.

Needless to say the press have gone overboard about the first ever all English final of the Champions League - ignoring the fact that 2/3rds of the players won't be English - but, hey why let the facts get in the way of a bit of jingoism eh? As someone on RadioFiveLive the final will really show the South/South divide in English football.

The thing that has really got my goat this week has been the fans moaning about having to travel to Moscow for the final. Firstly, if Newcastle ever got to a Champions League final (stop laughing at the back! ) I'd chew off my own arm for a ticket and traveling to the nether regions of Eastern Europe wouldn't put me off. The arrogance of those Southerners suggesting that the final should be moved to Wembley beggars belief. Imagine if Milan and Juventus had insisted that the 2003 final be moved from Old Trafford?? The papers would have probably demanded that Italy be thrown out of Europe and the cup awarded to Manure....

On Monday, I'll be in the hallowed ground that is the cathedral of St James' Park for the first time in a couple of years. In the spirit of blind optimism I decided that Chelsea winning on Wednesday was good news for us - Chelsea are bound to have one eye on Moscow and therefore not want to over-exert themselves (gleefully ignoring that they are still quite likely to want to win the League). So, our usual end of season game against the billionaires playthings is bound to be a win for the gallant Northerners.... ahem....

Of course a win for the Toon on Monday will, in all likelihood give the title to Manure.... Damn....

Typical - good riddance to 2007

Chelsea 2 Toon 1


Just when it looked as though we might get a point from London for a change... A inept display by a linesman ensured that no points where gathered. From the highlights (there is a misnomer) it looks as though the players showed a bit more heart... But to no tangible benefit - typically.

The old adage about "what goes around comes around" is proving itself again - we get a fluky win against Fulham and then get a bizarre decision at Chelsea which means that we end up with nowt. I suppose these things are supposed to even themselves out - but it doesn't feel like it at the moment.

As it draws to the end of the calendar year it seems appropriate to have a think about the good and not so good things that have happened this year....

Good things - Fat Fred Sheppard isn't on the TV, paper, t'internet (delete as appropriate) any more; Mike Ashley wearing his Smith shirt and getting the coach to the mackem game; Habib Beye looking like he could be a fine defender; ermmm.... that's about it - apart from Dyer leaving and West Ham becoming the Cockney Reject Mags...

Not so good things - Any game against Wigan (in any year), lack of heart by the team for games, lack of consistency, booing of the players (including Stephen Carr - he might be rubbish, but he's our rubbish) the poor atmosphere at SJP; mid-table obscurity (the only consistent); the lack of a left back (please play Charlie Zog on the wing); playing so many players out of position, Joey Bloody Barton, abject surrender against Liverpool.... I could go on but I'm getting more and more fed up...

So, the transfer window is about to open, a new year is about to start... What do I wish for?? Simple, a team that plays for the shirt, cares as much as I do about the results and gives me as a fan something to smile about.

Oh, and a cup run ....to Wembley would be good as well!

Newcastle United - Media misery foretold

Oh god.... Its happened again. Just in the same way that the knives where out after the Liverpool match for Allardyce (see Depressed ) its all started again. Two catalysts this time - the bloody awful game at Wigan and Joey 'bloody' Barton. The press frenzy has started again, pontification by mischievous Southern hacks who seem to love nothing more that to have a pop at us Northern oiks... Its wearisome in the extreme and lazy journalism... But then again when has that ever stopped the British press??

As for Barton - I've already said that he's the new Lee Bowyer... I was wrong. At least Bowyer seemed to have a modicum of self control. Barton appears to be lacking even that. His apologists seem to suggest that he was provoked... My advice Joey - don't be so stupid to put yourself in the position to be provoked. Don't go out in Liverpool, don't go out to clubs, don't go out drinking all day, and most of all don't be so bloody stupid.

I hope that if he's found guilty that his contract is canceled and he doesn't get the opportunity to collect any more of his obscene wages. I'm fairly sure that if I couldn't work because I was banged up then I'd get sacked... It should have happened when he attacked Dabo at City.... Oh, how they must be laughing now, whilst counting the £5 million that we gave them for him.

As for football - just the small matter of Chelsea away today. They haven't lost at Stamford Bridge since Ken Bates was in charge and had black hair... So, the signs aren't good.

More fun and games at the Theatre of the Absurd; roll on 5.45...