Not so Proud

The past couple of weeks appear to have been a period of dust settling at SJP. It must have been at least two weeks since the press have been able to snigger in the direction of NE1... That said they had a damn good chortle prior to then.

Ashley has delivered his ultimate kick in the proverbials to the fans by trying to re-name the stadium. I've wondered this often in the past, but just who is advising Ashley? The re-naming has been positioned as 'temporary re-branding' until the end of the season. Now, I'm no marketing expert, but when has temporary re-branding ever worked before? The aim is that Ashley's firm sponsor the ground until the end of the season and then some other company will take over, oh and cough up the cash for a video screen at SJP. Apparently:

"Newcastle are currently targeting concerns including electronics giants and airlines, preferably with links to Far East and its attendant merchandising and marketing opportunities."

So that means that we can look forward to tales of Ashley and Llambias having another failed trip to some Far East hotspots [gawd, I'm even starting to write like a tabloid hack, as this is so predictable] along with the suitably embarrassing pictures. Doesn't Ashley make his money from retail? A quick Google search will show him that re-branding doesn't work. Pizza Hut to Pasta Hut, lasted no more than a few months and I'm of the generation that still looks for a Marathon bar or Opal Fruits (rather than Snickers or Starburst) when I wander into the newsagents. Just the same as when I walk up to watch a game of football, I'll be going to St James' Park.

The other problem is that it sounds like a crap email address: sportsdirect.com@stjames'park - its just utter pants. I can see Dave Whelan being the only one who would make even an offer for these "prestigious naming rights", JJB@stjames'park - has a ring to it, don't you think?

The only other thing that seems to have happened off the pitch is that Shola has decided that he is a Nigerian after all (odd, how he mentions this after Nigeria have qualified for the World Cup?). No doubt Hughton has his head in his hands, as if Shola makes the team, he'll be at the African Cup of Nations for all of January. But, in reality, when was the last time that Shola was fit for a whole month? Maybe it will give him some impetus to perform until then, so the team can only benefit from that.

Anyway, come Monday night I'm breaking my temporary leave of absence since the first game of the season - I'll be at Preston. The usual mixture of anticipation and fear are starting to descend.

Howay the lads...

Shola Success

What a difference a month makes. At the Everton game when things looked really bleak - JFK made a substitution, bringing on the outcast No23, the guy who had been deemed not good enough for the Championship with Ipswich in August, Shola Ameobi. The chant went up "If Shola scores we're on the pitch" and stewards looked around nervously at the prospect of a pitch invasion. Of course, the threatened (un)civil unrest wasn't likely to happen, as we all thought that seeing as he hadn't scored for over two years it was unlikely. Since the Everton game he's set about trying to establish a place for himself in the side and was this week voted Newcastle player of the month for October. He's scored a couple of goals and generally looked more determined than any of the other strikers at the club.

He's a JFK sort of player - in the John Fashanu mold. Big, physical, determined and of limited ability. Therein lies the problem with Shola. For years we have watched one of our own (after all he's one of only two Geordie's near the first team at the moment, I know that neither he or Taylor were born in Newcastle - but they count as Geordies) willing him to succeed, only to be let down. Some of the frustrations about Shola are that for a player who is well over 6ft he appears to be unable to jump more than 6ins off the ground. He is one of the worst headers of the ball I've seen in a black and white shirt. He also has one of the poorest first touches of a top-flight player that I've ever seen - the ball just seems to cannon off him in random directions. For example:





But, he despite all these short-comings he's a player who always gives it all for the club. His ability is limited but he perseveres when so many better paid and more talented players give up - to name a few Kluivert, Luque, and Guivarc'h spring to mind from the past and you could probably add in Viduka and EMO from the present.

I've always had a soft spot for Shola - I remember his debut against Chelsea. He came on as a sub and a certain 'hard-tackling' Chelsea midfielder decided to show this lanky new comer what the Premiership was all about and sent 'our' Shola to the turf with a crunching and illegal tackle. I can still recall Shola jumping up, bristling with indignation and squaring up to the bully - without loosing any control the stare, just said "don't mess with me, I know what I'm doing".

The name of that midfielder? - our current Executive Director (Football) Dennis Wise. Dennis you should have learned from eight years ago, don't mess with what Newcastle fans know and love....That and the fact that when they squared up to each other Shola was a good foot taller than him, much to the general hilarity of the crowd.

One final thought, I may have a soft spot for Shola, but not as much as a friend of mine - who named her cat after our No 23. That said, Shola the Cat is the most aggressive, surly, vicious feline I've ever come across. I wonder if Shola the footballer is like that? I'd doubt it, but the cat can still jump higher.

Obsessional

Another day, another "relegation six-pointer", the various stresses of this season is starting to take its toll... I've now moved on from just having PMT about today's game, to having a serious obsession. The manifestations of this include thinking about 4-3-3 or 4-4-2 when I'm hoovering, wondering if Martins will play whilst watching a new TV show and pondering the future of Shola Ameobi in the local Tesco's (who knows, the two might be intertwined, that might be where he ends up)

All of the above demonstrate the that I
a) don't get out much
b) use football as a diversion from real life
c) am sad....
All of which I cheerfully accept.

However, even for me today's match has taken on an absurd level of importance. I dreamed that I saw the result last night... 2-1. So Paddy Power now has some of my hard earned cash and even more is riding on today's game.

Howay the lads