Forty Years On

I went to a party last night, it was a very civilized affair... In a beautifully decorated upstairs room of a eatery in a trendy area of Manchester. All bottles of designer beer and canapés, low hum of conversation combined with low background music. As it was a 40th birthday party, the conversation was around children, holidays and jobs. However, there was a slight difference with this group - as with any gathering there was a plethora of accents, some Mancunian, some Irish, some Yorkshire and with a smattering of Spanish, Libyan, Scouse, etc. But there was also a large proportion Geordie - due to the birthday boy hailing from the North East, most of the members of our traveling band of foolhardy Toon suffers had come to join in the celebrations.

Needless to say much of the conversation was also about football. The topic of Sunday's game was broached with us the same hushed reverential tones that usually greet inquiries about the health of a terminally ill relative. The faux sympathy in the Manure fans eyes was a joy to behold and reactions of others was also interesting, from "your lot are too good to go down" (Liverpool fan) to "when they get relegated will you support someone else?" (Manure fan - really, I'm not making it up!).

The reality of this is that Newcastle United are in the position that they are in because of being the third worst team in the Premiership this year. The fact that the team have one more home win than the number of managers that have been through the door of St James' Park gives a good clue as to why the team is languishing at the base of the tree-trunk that is the league. Simple maths show that no team is 'too good to go down' and simple economics show that relegation will be catastrophic for the club.

My usual answer to these polite enquires was that I believe that Newcastle will get relegated, because the team has been atrocious this season. Now, of course the rational part of me believes this totally - however, the emotional part of me desperately wants this not to be true. I'm having a schizophrenic response to thoughts on Sunday's game - I won't be at all surprised if the scoreline is similar to last years capitulation especially as the lack of heart shown against Fulham may just pervade. But equally I'd really love the dream scenario of a Newcastle win and a glorious snatching of victory from the jaws of oblivion. Time will tell.

I'll be there to watch it; cowering at every Villa attack, spirits soaring at every half chance for the black and whites; hoping against hope that results from KC stadium, wearyside and smogland are going the right way to keep the club in the top flight. Savage amusement indeed.

As a footnote to the party. It was Phil's birthday - lifelong Toon fan... Born 40 years ago, just after the last time we won a competition. We bought him the commemorative shirt in the picture, and pointed out to him on more than one occasion that he must be the jinx!

Expensive

In light of all those terribly honest British MPs starting to admit that the sight of them with their snouts in a trough is slightly unedifying, and as a consequence humbly handing back sackfuls of misappropriated expenses (or something like that anyway), I wonder if some of those clowns in black and white shirts would consider doing the same?

Little Mickey O (he used to play for England, you know) owes us for at least a years salary, as do Xisco, Geremi and Alan Smith... As for Barton, he owes us the last three years salary and all his future earnings, wherever he chooses to 'earn' a living. The one that I would have added to this list would have been Viduka, but the performance on Monday may have partially atoned for some of the sackfuls of cash he's had from Newcastle United over the past couple of years.

Roll on Saturday - when the overpaid, underachievers will be playing a team of (comparatively) underpaid, overachievers...

Resurrected

Toon 2 Fulham 0

Phew... Last time we played Fulham, we scraped a flukey win which wasn't really deserved. Ir wasn't the same this time, this was a deserved win and it could have been much more than the two goals that ended up separating the teams.

Thanks to Sky I watched the whole of the game, and I think that I might be in a state of shock... Barton actually can play football. Having hitherto shown nothing to justify his selection, he played well and him and Butt looked like a good midfield team. Geremi still struggles with the corners though, but hey, you can't have everything.

What was gratifying to see was the goals. Firstly, Viduka had a typical game, does virtually nowt, except win a few headers and score a cracking goal. The way he plays must annoy the hell out of most of the rest of the team... but he got the important early goal that made so much difference yesterday. It settled down the team and, as importantly, the crowd. Apart from a short spell in the early 2nd half, it looked as though there would only be one winner after Big Mark's goal. That said, I'm still struggling to see why Martin's was taken off with 15 mins to go rather than the rotund Aussie.

Secondly, EMO - he played like a captain yesterday. Rather than just standing around waiting for the ball to come to him, he went and got the ball and kept going throughout all the game. He had a couple of horrible misses, but kept on trying and got his goal at the end of the game. Best game I've seen him play for us, since the hat-trick at West Brom.

So, the upshot of yesterdays game? Well, not a whole lot really- 3 points nearer safety, (but still plenty to do) team spirit shown, (maybe a bit of belief will start run through the team now) a clean sheet, (hallelujah) and Keegan's first win (admittedly against an awful Fulham team). That said, he's not the Messiah, but this might just be the start of the resurrection of the team (well, it is Easter Sunday, so maybe you'll forgive me the biblical pun).

Oh - and I learned something yesterday - dreams are just part of your subconscious mind... Don't put money on a dream, it won't happen.

But, I wonder what the odds are of EMO getting injured playing for his favorite team against France on Wednesday? Pretty high I'd guess.

Obsessional

Another day, another "relegation six-pointer", the various stresses of this season is starting to take its toll... I've now moved on from just having PMT about today's game, to having a serious obsession. The manifestations of this include thinking about 4-3-3 or 4-4-2 when I'm hoovering, wondering if Martins will play whilst watching a new TV show and pondering the future of Shola Ameobi in the local Tesco's (who knows, the two might be intertwined, that might be where he ends up)

All of the above demonstrate the that I
a) don't get out much
b) use football as a diversion from real life
c) am sad....
All of which I cheerfully accept.

However, even for me today's match has taken on an absurd level of importance. I dreamed that I saw the result last night... 2-1. So Paddy Power now has some of my hard earned cash and even more is riding on today's game.

Howay the lads

Thieves in the night

Fulham 0 Toon 1

By the skin of our teeth the Toon have pick pocketed 3 points from the Cottagers tonight. It wasn't pretty, nor exciting, nor fluent. But, we have 2 wins in a row in the Premier League for the first time in 2007. So, its job done to an extent... Just like watching Brazil -no, just like watching Bolton, definitely.

A couple of points about the game. Barton; I feel the same about him as I did Lee Bowyer. He's an odious man, and if found guilty of the charge against Dabo he deserves to be sent down and sacked from the club. I'd be surprised if that happened - his legal team will be too good for the Salford court and even if found guilty he won't get sacked, he's way too valuable to the club for that. However, it still doesn't seem right seeing him in a Toon shirt (in the same way that it never looked right seeing Bowyer in black and white). He scored the winner today, but it masked a poor performance (again) from him and in many ways he was lucky that the penalty went in.... I'd have been far happier if Jimmy Milner had taken it... But, Barton took it, scored and nicked the 3 points from the quite frankly hapless Fulham.

Secondly, we were awful in the first half, I can't express it any better than the wonderful nufc.com "two teams threatened to outdo each other in total mediocrity at the Cottage."

Dan? He seemed to quite enjoy it - time will tell... But for a while I thought that my worst fears (see below) were going to be realised. Still, he's witnessed a Toon win and maybe has become a fan.

Indoctornation

Toon v Fulham today - not particularly auspicious as far as the fixture list goes, but a big day for me in my fight against the red tide.

To explain, by a wonderful quirk my brother has also made his home in the North West, and he lives about 10 miles away from me. This means that I get to see him and his family on a fairly regular basis, certainly more often than I get to go and see my parents who are still in the NE. He has two children, boy and a girl and Dan is 14. Needless to say he's football mad and also needless to say, he has spent the last few years as a confirmed Manure fan. Its a peer group thing, and perfectly understandable. He hasn't had the guiding hand of his father giving him sage advice as to the rights and wrongs of this - my brother has always had a limited interest in football and was the typical glory hunter as a kid, he supported Liverpool because they won everything....

Dan and I always have had banter and he's been to a few Manure games on corporate tickets. Then a strange thing happened - he went to a Scout jumble sale, came home with a Toon top and announced he was converted. I've no idea how long this will last for, but needless to say I'm shamelessly going to exploit this. I'm planning to take him to an away game in the near future, if the passion and excitement doesn't hook him then I'd be very surprised. Also, as the Fulham game is live on TV tonight we are having a special Aunt/Nephew night and he's watching it with me.

So, firstly "Howay the lads" secondly, please don't let it be another of those dull 0-0's or even worse a 1-0 loss with the Toon showing no heart - for Dan's sake make it a good game!