Lack of Class

In my younger days I had a part time job in a print shop. It was a largely un-rewarding job, but I got to play with some new gadgets. I was shown how to do all sorts of exciting things, such as bind documents, use the high speed photocopier and laminate signs and posters. Needless to say binding wasn't much fun (I can recall wrecking one students thesis) and, beyond the obvious, photocopying was dull. However, the laminating machine led to all sorts of hilarity... This included getting various photos enlarged and making them more 'solid' than previously as they became poster sized. I only did one for myself...I can still remember it vividly. Shearer and Ferguson celebrating a goal, with the words "Form is temporary: Class is permanent" emblazoned across the bottom. I think I'd particularly liked it as it was at the time that Shearer was getting a tough time from the English press about him not being good enough to play for Eng-er-lund.

Roll forward 20-plus years and I was reminded of this moniker again, but this time the inverse. Mike Ashley has demonstrated time and time again that he lacks understanding of how to effectively communicate with his 'customers' and the sacking of Chris Hughton was another example of this. As a consumer of brand NUFC, it appeared to me that the football team was getting some stability, that the team - was starting to play like a team. The results were mixed, but it felt like the team was going in the right direction. The key to this was the continuity that had been given by the management team - Hughton and Calderwood appeared to have been doing a good job, with limited resources. As a watcher of the business of Newcastle United, it also appeared that Hughton was doing a fair job, mid-table and regular TV revenue coming in, combined with the asset that is Andy Carroll, being nurtured and therefore his value (both in terms of transfer value and marketing value) increasing.

But, obviously this wasn't enough for the owners of both the business and the brand. The reasons for the supporters as to why he was sacked are spurious. But perhaps the business ones aren't. I'd guess that Hughton was asking for money to shore up the depth of the team, that the money wasn't available or his choices deemed incorrect. From a cost perspective, Hughton will have been a lot cheaper to sack than either Allardyce or Keegan. So, as ever Ashley fails to communicate with his punters and the inevitable conclusion is drawn... he's got no class, and his form is temporary.

As a demonstration of Ashley's temporary form, he got lucky with Pardew's first game. Beating a sub-standard Liverpool team might have looked good on paper. It might have lessened the volume and nature of the protests against Hughton's sacking for that game. But, the cracks are still visible and unless some investment is made in the playing squad Ashely's lack of class with the dismissal of someone who appeared to be a genuinely decent man - and a good communicator; will come home to roost.

Whilst I've been away

Ermmmm... Sorry, I've been a bit remiss lately. In fact, depending on your definition of lately I've been positively tardy. But, I wouldn't want you to think I've not been paying attention. Some of the 'highlights' of the last 6 months include:-

- Defying all the gloom-mongers (*cough* including myself) NUFC have managed to win the Championship at a canter, remaining unbeaten at SJP for a whole season.
- Most of the players have (so far) stayed with the club
- We still have the same manager, who has been quietly dignified through out the barrage of nonsense that has been stirred up in the press

So, NUFC are looking forward to the start of August with the prospect of turning out against Manure, Arsenal and the Mackems next season , and all that this entails... Higher price match tickets, greater speculation about players in/out, even more pressure on Hughton as well as the unforgiving glare of the press spotlight being shone even brighter on those at SJP.

In an attempt to combat this the Board at NUFC put out a statement last month. Have a look at the full version here. This is a spectacular example of standing on a chair, hoisting corporate skirts up and shouting "Thomas!". Surely, statements like this

There will be no comment from the Board regarding the purchase of players.

There will be no comment from the Board regarding the sale of players.

There will be no comment from the Board regarding ongoing contract talks with players presently at Newcastle United Football Club or with those that the club may enter into negotiation with.

Will only serve to pique the interest of the press pack. What is the phrase about keeping your friends close, but your enemies even closer? A certain amount of openness and transparency can only benefit the understanding of what the current Board are trying to achieve... How does this help?

In simple terms this is a transparent policy that will feed through and inform all aspects of the running of Newcastle United Football Club's first team. There will be no comments from any member of Newcastle United's Board in the future regarding any issues surrounding Newcastle United to the press/media at large.

That said, I sorta agree with this one.... Not the ethics of it, but because the Daily Mail is pure bile filled spiteful garbage...

Grounds for divorce

As the wonderfully talented Mr Guy Garvey once intoned:-

I've been working on a cocktail called Grounds for Divorce
Polishing a compass that I hold in my sleeve
Doubt comes in on sticks but then he kicks like a horse


And that just about perfectly sums up my feelings towards the current events at NE1 4ST. The comedy club lurches from shambles to shameful, getting deeper on a daily basis into what has become lunacy. A few examples that have stopped me from blogging recently:

1. Chris Hughton. A man who has only ever been guilty of being in the right place at the right time. He must have a yoyo like piece of elastic leading too the managers chair. He's been interim manager on three occasions, and then just as he starts a four game win less streak, he gets rewarded with a permanent contract.

2. Keegan's court case. So much muck has been thrown at the current owner that I had the feeling that some of it must stick. I was wrong; it all stuck - every last fleck. From foisting a player that the manager didn't want (and advising him to watch him on YouTube), through to lying to the fans and press about Keegan having the final say in terms of the playing personnel. Its bad enough being glib enough to lie to your employees, but also admitting to lying to your 'customers' on a sustained and regular basis shows the utmost contempt.

3. The longest ever proposed sale of a business. It got to the stage that the unedifying hawking sight of the club being pushed around the markets, bazaars and auction houses was becoming as laughable as the proposed price - I was waiting for the eBay joke to become reality. The least surprising news of this week was the news that Ashley was hanging onto his shares for a while longer. I don't doubt that there is a sound business reason for this, getting promoted back to the financial nirvana of the Premiership will see Ashley recoup a lot more of his investment than selling from the second tier.

4. Renaming of St James' Park - Oh, for gawd's sake Ashley STOP IT. The idea of renaming the stadium is senseless and just further antagonises your customer base. The few extra million quid that you may get would just be counter productive... Do you really think that "The Aldi Stadium" or some such like is going to be used by the 45,000 souls who choose to sit in the seats they have purchased every couple of weeks? Its another PR disaster. I'm not usually one for signing petitions - but please have a look at this online petition from the Newcastle United Supporters Trust. I disagree with a number of things that the supporters trust are trying to do (but that's fodder for my next outpouring) but this petition is one that I've happily put my name to.

All of the above (and a whole heap more) have led me to reassess my ongoing commitment to the club that has been such a big part of my life for so long. Picking up on the song, I'm not going to look to divorce myself from NUFC, but I'm having a trial separation. Not been to a game since WBA, turned down a few tickets and didn't even watch a few of the live games (I went to see a ballet instead of watching the Forest game!) I'm still that glutton for punishment though, surreptitiously stalking the latest misdemeanours of the club via the press. It's not a healthy relationship at the moment.

Set adrift on memory bliss

So, that was the summer then - a few rays of sunshine, intermingled with dark heavy storm clouds that have never really cleared. And as for the weather... The rays of sunshine (probable take over, Shearer as manager, prospect of any new players) have been eclipsed by the storm clouds (Ashley staying, no new investment). It's become apparent that the reactive management of Newcastle United probably haven't got a plan A, never mind a plan B. So, off the club trundle into the international break, with a wafer thin squad, an interim manager and top of the league.

Hang on, can that last sentence be right? If everything is so doom and gloom how on earth can the league table look like this...

1	Newcastle	5	4	1	0	8	1	7	13
2	WBA	5	3	2	0	9	5	4	11
3	Cardiff City	5	3	1	1	11	4	7	10
4	Middlesbrough	5	3	1	1	8	2	6	10
5	Bristol City	5	3	1	1	6	6	0	10

As with so many things with Newcastle United, it just doesn't make sense. The talk at the moment is that Chris Hughton will get manager of the month in the Championship. Don't the powers that be realise the irony of this? He is a manager who's business card must have the words interim, interim manager printed on it... He's been the stand in for the last couple of stand ins. He obviously is a nice man, and somehow despite (or because of?) the chaos going on around him seems to have managed to get the club into the top of the Championship pile. Maybe its that in all this adversity he's starting to learn about the players and the team that he is managing (obviously there are a few less on the list now) and because he's hung around the team have started to react positively to him.

Whatever the reasons, NUFC are top of the pile at the moment. The last time we were top of the league at this time of year was in the halcyon days of 1995, when the team stayed in that spot until March... and ended up 2nd. At the time that felt like a massive, crushing disappointment. If in March 2010 the league table looks similar then it won't be a disappointment - the storm will have been weathered. But I suspect that there is a typhoon approaching first.

Ok - I'll stop stretching this analogy any further...

Heartfelt

Somehow it feels appropriate, it being Valentines day, to be talking about affairs of the heart. However, these particular affairs are managerial and corporate ones, rather than any type of love interest. As JFK falls under the knife for a triple heart bypass, he joins a lengthy list of unfit NUFC staff in the treatment room. Its probably the least surprising 'injury' of the whole of the season.

For all his legion of faults, JFK does wear his heart on his sleeve (no pun intended), he shows his emotions (just ask the Daily Mirror journalist) and no doubt this all adds to the pressure. He's not a spring chicken and he had a past history of heart trouble. So, when the reports came through last week that he'd been taken to hospital prior to the WBA game, all sorts of alarm bells started to ring in my head (maybe that's tinnitus though). I also would guess that the club has had some inkling of this - why else did Colin Calderwood turn up at SJP a couple of weeks ago? It may be just my suspicious nature, but he was appointed first team coach... If so, what has Chris Hughton's role? His job title may be Assistant Manager, but it didn't make sense to to me at the time. After this weeks news it all has become so much clearer.

Perhaps the club should be congratulated for showing some foresight, some secession planning. Or maybe they just got 'lucky'. There has also been some other media deflection this week, with Llambias, the Managing Director making his first set of prouncements. I've complained about the poor media relations in the past, and maybe this is the first steps to try and do things properly. Perhaps, the twelve bore has been removed from the foot of NUFC for a while... I just hope that that the club remember that its still loaded.

In the meantime I read one of the best posts about the state of NUFC from a national journalist that I've seen in a long time - have a look at this, if you haven't already seen it. I agree with (just about) every word.